SCT 1: (Un)learning to listen

by Darren Rusco

Note: I'm working on a book about hearing God's voice. The process of writing is a slog for me, so I decided to work it out through blog posts, hoping that would help me get ideas out to print, and also give readers a chance to feedback and help form the end product.

Chapter 1

(Un)learning to listen

Theoretically, hearing God’s voice isn’t any more complicated than hearing another person’s voice. God speaks and you listen. You speak and God listens. But in reality, everyone who intentionally tries to discover what God is saying to them finds stumbling blocks. We should be encouraged that we experience communication barriers in human relationships as well. Someone communicated and you didn’t perceive it because it was nonverbal; yet it was important. Someone communicated and you interpreted it in a way that was not intended because you didn’t understand the motive. Someone communicated and you took it negatively because you interpreted the language through your own emotional wound. So the existence of communication barriers is not an invitation to avoid listening, it’s an invitation to overcome the barriers.

For certain, these barriers also exist in our communicatory relationship with God. Sometimes we don’t even know THAT he communicates. Or we miss what he says because we don’t know HOW he communicates. We misunderstand what he says because we don’t know WHY he communicates. We misinterpret what he says because we don’t know the motive of his communication.

At the risk of stating the obvious or even sounding patronizing, the most important step of growing in hearing God’s voice is to embrace the idea that we can indeed grow in hearing. This is the point of the title of this book.

If, like me, you come from a background of Christianity that doesn’t believe in or practice hearing the voice of God, you may step into this practice with an all or nothing, fatalistic version of God’s voice. That is to say, God will speak when he speaks, and I will hear. But this is not the case. Let’s look at some Scriptures on this topic. Likely if you are young in faith, you’ll need to learn; but if you are old in faith, you’ll need to unlearn.

Lessons from a new hearer: 1 Samuel 3

This chapter in the Bible describes the learning experience of a kid named Samuel who had never heard God speak before. And to be fair, the story starts out with this description of God’s communication: “In those days messages from the Lord were very rare, and visions were quite uncommon.” When you read the story, you’ll see God calling Samuel’s name but in multiple cases, Samuel thought it was a human voice from another room. So we can give Samuel some grace for fumbling around the voice of God, since this was completely new for him. If your experience is that “the word of the Lord is rare,” Samuel’s experience shows us that we can indeed learn and grow in this area. We should avoid fatalistic tones that say, “If God wants to speak with me, he will speak with me.” In the case of Samuel (and the residents of Jerusalem in John 12), God WAS speaking and they didn’t know it. So we have a stewardship responsibility to grow and learn, like Samuel.

The good news was, indeed Samuel was hearing God’s voice. The bad news was he did not know it. I cringe when I think about how many times I have missed what God was saying. But like the story of Samuel, God keeps calling our name. So we should remain encouraged and free of regret. God is merciful and delights in speaking with us. He is far more willing to repeat the message than we are in our earthly communicatory relationships.

In Samuel’s case, he confused the audible voice of God with the human voice of Eli, the priest who lived in the temple with him. And why wouldn’t he? He had never heard God’s voice before. He had no paradigm for a voice from the heavenly realm to invade his natural realm. He could only default to what he understood, which was the voice of another human, and Eli was the only other human in the building. So it was with the crowds in Jerusalem confusing the audible voice of God with thunder. We will always default to the paradigm that carries the largest weight of familiarity.

And so it is, the most important obstacle to overcome with hearing God’s voice is our ongoing focus and attention to the natural realm. When we embrace the idea of a supernatural voice coming from an invisible realm, then we are more likely to catch it when it comes. If the idea of a supernatural voice is unfamiliar to us, then of course we will turn towards the familiar in order to explain what we hear.

If the audible voice is confusing, how much more so will the gentle whispers get confused? So we should avoid thoughts like, “If God spoke louder, then I could hear better.” As illustrated earlier, it’s not about God’s volume, it’s about the sensitivity of my spirit. It’s about me learning how God wants to communicate to me.

Samuel had to learn from Eli about how God communicates. Everyone gains an understanding of the intricacies of human level communication. In every friendship, every working relationship, every marriage, every family, we must learn how other people receive and give communication. We need to pursue how God wants to communicate.

For example, after God called Samuel’s name three times, and Samuel mistook God’s voice for Eli’s three times, Eli taught Samuel something very specific. He said, “If someone calls again, say, ‘Speak Lord, your servant is listening.’” Samuel tried this and it worked! God then spoke to Samuel. I’ve often wondered why God didn’t show up and say to Samuel the first time, “Hello Samuel, this is God and I would like to speak to you.” After all, if God had simply introduced himself, maybe he would have saved Samuel three trips to Eli’s room. But communication taps into realms beyond logical or rational. And often God wants a response from us before speaking further. Certainly God has the right to show up at any time and speak, but often he calls us and waits for a response because we are in an actual relationship with him. Perhaps a person speaking appreciates the courtesy of an acknowledgement from the listener.

In Revelation 3:20 we have some communication words of Jesus to the church in Laodicea:

Look! I stand at the door and knock. If you hear my voice and open the door, I will come in, and we will share a meal together as friends.

Can you spot the similarities in God’s heart revealed in 1 Samuel 3 and the heart of Jesus in Revelation 3? Certainly Jesus could barge in if he wants. But instead he knocks and waits for us to respond. And when we do respond, good things are in store.

In this way, God seems inefficient, at least from our human understanding. God is willing to wait out the human delay, as we metaphorically ignore the knocking at the door, or respond to Eli instead, or tell our neighbor about the thunder. Jesus is willing to knock and wait and knock and wait, usually while we don’t even know who is knocking or why. As it turns out, God’s perceived inefficiency is actually patience, a merciful version at that.

We must learn (or unlearn the opposite) that interaction with his creation is a priority value of God’s heart. After Samuel interacted, God stood in the room and entrusted Samuel with heavy information.

Another new hearer

The autumn of 2009 was my fifth year of pastoring at a small church in California. It’s not an exaggeration to say my spiritual batteries were dead. Prayer was a miserable chore done out of guilt. I actually prayed a prayer asking God to eliminate the need for prayer! Do you suppose I might have been missing something? Worship singing was something I endured and wondered if we needed to be doing that as well. Sundays were the worst day for me, as that was when our church gathered – I didn’t want to be there. And to make matters worse, we were preaching through the book of Acts, and every time I preached, the storyline made me aware of how dead my life was. At this time I did not hold a theology that embraced “hearing God’s voice.” Prayer was a one-way street of me stating a few prayer requests out of guilt to an uninterested and distant God. Of course, theologically, I had to believe that God was interested and near, but if I was honest, that was not my experience.

So I came to a breaking point where I knew this place in my life was not sustainable as a pastor. This church needed someone with a better spiritual life than me. This led me to finally praying an honest, messy prayer - the kind that captures God’s attention: “God, I’m out. I’m unwilling to continue this game. I either need a new job or I need something to change in me.” It was a tone of desperation rather than guilt. In my heart, this little prayer was free of religion and form. It was the type of prayer that actually reaches God’s throne. Finally, a real prayer – and I bet God thought the same.

Deep down, I knew I did not know the Holy Spirit, but now I was just reckless enough to admit it. Sure, I knew Trinitarian theology inside and out, but the Spirit was a theory and a doctrine to me, written in concise summary statements. The Spirit was not a knowable person. I was so desperate for something more, that I got on my knees, placed my open Bible down on the floor, and told God that I wanted to know the Holy Spirit personally and that I would rebuild my understanding of who the Scriptures say the Holy Spirit is, and if changed my whole theological perspective, then so be it. I needed something authentic, not only for pastoral ministry, but for Christian life. I didn’t care if it cost me my job or my friends, I wanted the fullness of the Holy Spirit. I prayed, “Jesus, when you said you would baptize us in the Holy Spirit, I want the fullness of what you meant, nothing diminished and nothing exaggerated.”

Slowly over the next couple of months I began to feel more alive. I read the Scriptures with new lenses. I saw countless Scriptures that refer to God’s heart to communicate to his people. I told the Lord that if he’s talking, then I’m listening. In prayer, I would speak and then pause and try to listen. I told the Lord I would respond to even the quietest voice I heard as long as it was not sin or hurtful to another. There were times when I walked outside and crossed the street because I thought God might have told me to. In reality, he probably hadn’t said that, but this was my journey. This was me trying to discover his voice. I might have looked foolish, but for me, it confirmed I was headed in the right direction.

The big breakthrough for me occurred in February 2010. I was in my office completing the paperwork for my income taxes. I had a nice refund coming, which I arranged to be direct deposited into my bank account. The forms were printed, signed, and placed into the envelope. As soon as I sealed the envelope I heard a voice say, “You are going to give that away.” It was a voice in my head. But I was neither in prayer nor trying to listen to God; I was working on my taxes. It surprised me so much that I turned to make sure nobody else was in the room spoke to me. The voice was distinct and had a tone. My spirit was instantly filled with generosity, which was new for me at the time! This must have been God! I agreed, “Yes, I will give it away, but where?” And there was no answer.

I told nobody about this experience. I mean, just a few months earlier, I would have called this illegal activity – God did not speak like this! But just a few days later my wife Jennifer told me about an experience she had earlier in the day. While running, she was praying and thinking about some missionaries we knew and she began to experience grief associated with loneliness. It was an unusual moment where the Holy Spirit was showing her what the missionaries were feeling. Instantly Jennifer knew that we were to give away our tax refund to the missionaries’ friends so they could travel and spend time together to quench the loneliness.

In separate moments, God had dramatically revealed to my wife and I that we would and should give away this money, along with who the recipients of the gift would be, all without us speaking to each other about it. We were very excited about this!

A few weeks later, I was working in my office. Again, I was not praying or trying to listen to God. The voice randomly came through my head again – the same voice, the same tone: “The money is there.” I thought to myself, “There is no way!” I immediately logged on to my online bank account to discover our tax refund had been direct deposited two hours earlier. We were thrilled to give the money away that day.

This was a game changer for me. God had filled me with life through His voice. I had no idea the Christian life could be lived this way. It would not be easy though. There was so much healing and work needed in my heart. And my story was offensive to some people in my life. And to be fair, many seasons seem so much less miraculous than that first one. But for me, I had experienced a God who was interested in me. He was near and He was telling secrets and mysteries. I was on a new path.

It takes only a few minutes to read this story, but in reality I spent months before this trying and failing to hear God’s voice, yet convinced he would talk. I don’t discount that process. The Holy Spirit was doing a work of preparation in me. And I encourage you: if you want to hear the voice of God, embrace the work he wants to do in your spirit. I promise you it will be messy but worth it.