SCT 9: Waiting and paralysis

By Darren Rusco

Note: I'm working on a book about hearing God's voice. The process of writing is a slog for me, so I decided to work it out through blog posts, hoping that would help me get ideas out to print, and also give readers a chance to feedback and help form the end product.

Chapter 9

Waiting and Paralysis

Strangely enough, a pretty common result of success at hearing God’s voice is passivity. When you receive direction from God through hearing his voice, it comes with such joy. For me it was a game changer! And in no time we end up in this position where we will do nothing unless we receive direct revelation from heaven. And while this can be a great posture, it can also be a problem. As bad as it is to move out without ever consulting God’s voice, it is just as bad to sit forever when you haven’t heard. This is the tension that a Christian must live in, and it takes a relationship with the Holy Spirit to know when to wait and know when to press forward.

Because Jesus changed the relationship out of master/slave and into friendship, the new covenant kingdom is one of stewardship. Certainly Jesus has the authority to give commands and our response should be to obey, but a result of him transferring authority to his followers is that many decisions are transferred over to us. This means there will be moments where the Holy Spirit gives directives and others when the choices are stewarded to us. When a parent takes their child to the playground, the parent may give cautionary guidelines for safety, but if the child asks if she should play on the slide or the swings, the parent will likely say, “whichever you prefer.” You wouldn’t want your child waiting indefinitely for a command that won’t be given. Not every decision is one of command. And thus we need ongoing communication with the Holy Spirit to know when we should be going instead of waiting and waiting instead of going.

The revelatory tension of Macedonia

Acts 15-16 is a fascinating study in the varying methods God uses to speak to his people along with how people press on when God’s voice is not present.

Just when you think Paul is some sort of super Christian who functions in everyday supernatural revelation, we see this argument at the end of Acts 15 with Paul and Barnabas over who will be on the missionary team. And there is no sign of listening prayer in these verses - just two men who were in such sharp disagreement that they decided to separate. This is real life, gritty decision making that we all experience. It wasn’t pretty. It might have been fleshly and sinful. But we need to remember, this was a massive, pivotal moment in the history of the church, and there was no vision or angelic messenger giving instructions for the split. The ministry of Paul and Barnabas was launched through a direct prophetic revelation following prayer and fasting (Acts 13:2), and ended with two guys in a fight. It’s a mess, but the Lord’s agenda prevails. Sadly we miss out on the ministry story of Barnabas because Luke, who was the writer of the story, continued on with Paul. Surely, Barnabas would have coming stories to tell, but they went unrecorded. Yet at the same time, we are introduced to Timothy and Silas, two giants we might never have met without the argument.

So Paul, Silas, and Timothy begin traveling in what’s called the second missionary journey. Again, take note of how and when God speaks and when he doesn’t (Acts 16:6-8):

Next Paul and Silas traveled through the area of Phrygia and Galatia, because the Holy Spirit had prevented them from preaching the word in the province of Asia at that time. Then coming to the borders of Mysia, they headed north for the province of Bithynia, but again the Spirit of Jesus did not allow them to go there. So instead, they went on through Mysia to the seaport of Troas.

When listening to God’s voice, we must remember what God has already said in the past, but also pursue what God is saying in the present. For the apostles on this journey, Jesus had already said to go make disciples in all nations – no exceptions. But what is Jesus saying at this moment? Don’t go to the provinces of Asia or Bithynia. Jesus HAS SAID go - Jesus IS SAYING don’t go.

Observe, there was no advance notice from God to avoid these provinces. Think of the time, energy, money, and resources that could have been saved with some advance notice. But this is not always in God’s operation, and it is good.

Notice, the apostles discovered God’s voice through trial and error. In both places, it appears they tried to go there and preach, but in some way were prevented by God. The text does not tell the method by which the Holy Spirit, or the Spirit of Jesus, prevented them. It could have been through more supernatural means, or could simply have been through natural means, such as opposition or lack of housing or bad weather, which they would have interpreted as God’s communication. It’s not lost on me that this prevention by the Holy Spirit didn’t seem to be a problem for the missionary team. They just kept moving on, a lesson I wish I could master more quickly.

But the unique voice of God continues in verses 9-10:

That night Paul had a vision: A man from Macedonia in northern Greece was standing there, pleading with him, “Come over to Macedonia and help us!” So we decided to leave for Macedonia at once, having concluded that God was calling us to preach the good news there.

According to Acts 15:36, the purpose for this second mission journey was to revisit the churches started during the first mission journey, all of which were located in Asia Minor, the place where they were currently traveling. Macedonia was not part of the plan before they set off. Again, God’s voice for this was not in advance of the trip. We need to remember that when we ask for God’s voice, he may say things we don’t expect at a time that we don’t expect.

This example of God’s voice in a vision is very supernatural. I suppose God could do this every time but so far in this chapter we have a vision along with prevention through the Holy Spirit and the Spirit of Christ. Despite the supernatural vision, we read that the apostles chose to go to Macedonia “having concluded…” It appears there was some discussion over this vision. For us reading the story two thousand years later, it seems obvious, but in the moment, there was so much understanding about the vision they needed to gain. Was it literal? Should they leave immediately? Would they have left immediately if the Holy Spirit had not prevented them from entering those other provinces? In what city in Macedonia should they land? Sometimes we think a more supernatural communication from God brings more clarity, but that isn’t always the case.

According to verse 12, the team ended up in the city of Philippi. It appears they went there, not from any specific instruction, but rather simply because Philippi was a major city of that district. A vision led them to Macedonia, but more trial and error led them to Philippi, where a new season of Gentile conversions would begin.

These passages give us an example of real life examples of hearing God’s voice. It’s a struggle and a treasure hunt. At times God communicates supernaturally – we should press in and ask for it. At other times God waits for us to move out blindly, and we should accept that reality. Still at other times we walk in our flesh, without the voice God, and yet he is capable of redeeming those moments as well.

How God’s voice led us to Europe

After my renewal in late 2009, God’s voice was very active in 2010. My heart was stirred to follow after anything God had for me. My wife and I sensed God’s voice even leading us to minister outside of America. This was a big idea as we were settled in our home and had three kids under age eight. But pursuing life outside of America was as far as God’s voice had led us – nothing more specific. And the means of this communication was subtle so far – just following our desires and having that gut feeling of change coming in the future.

At that time, all we really knew of missionary work was within “unreached people groups” – those people who had never heard of Jesus before, mostly existing in third world, difficult to reach nations. So we investigated various opportunities and contacted some missionaries we knew to ask further questions, but our scope was limited to this realm.

But while in prayer one day, God spoke to me in a more supernatural method. I saw a vision in my imagination. Not something I saw with my eyes, which I would call an “open vision” but rather inside my mind and out of my control. This was new for me. Normally I control the direction of my imagination, but this time I curiously followed the direction of the story. I was awake with my eyes open, but very much lost in the unknown direction of my imagination.

In this vision I was standing in front of a massive field of overgrown grass as far as I could see. Jesus approached and asked me to get on a riding lawn mower and mow the grass. I got on the mower and drove it back and forth, again and again. After quite a bit of mowing Jesus came and stopped me. He asked me what I saw out in front of me. I said, “More overgrown grass to be mowed.” Jesus said, “This overgrown grass represents the people of the world who have never heard of me.” He asked me what I saw beside me. I said, “Freshly mowed grass.” Jesus told me, “The act of mowing is a picture of people hearing the gospel for the first time.” Jesus then told me, “Look back to where you started mowing. What do you see?” I gazed back to the starting point. The grass that I mowed at first was already overgrown again. It looked just like the grass I had yet to mow. Jesus told me, “Some places where the gospel has already reached are ready to be mowed again. Thank you for your interest in unreached people. But I want to send you to a place that needs mowing again.” And with that the vision ended.

This experience touched me deeply and I will never forget it. As Jennifer and I spoke about this revelation we knew it pointed to Europe, the place that was mowed first but had since become overgrown again. But like the vision of Macedonia, we were given no more specifics. Europe was a big place. Where were we called? And for what purpose? And so the treasure hunt of trial and error began. The supernatural direction gave way to the natural. We pursued an opportunity in Italy, but it never came to fruition. Others pursued us about an opportunity in Germany, but it didn’t feel right. Still another opportunity in Ireland came forth, but to no avail. Eventually I happened to receive a magazine in the mail that had a story about a mission in Glasgow, Scotland. I was able to send some questions in an email to a leader and to my surprise we were invited to visit and ultimately invited to join the team. Again, we prayed and listened, knowing we had the supernatural word about Europe but nothing more specific yet. Eventually we both had a moment on the flight home, deep in our gut feeling, this was it. So we made the decision to move.

Sometimes when we read the Bible we “overplay” the supernatural, that is to say, because of the frequent presence of the supernatural we don’t see that gritty, day-to-day, trial and error lifestyle that they lived just like us. And sometimes in our own lives we tend to “underplay” the supernatural, that is to say, because we are so familiar with our gritty, day-to-day, trial and error lives, we don’t have space to believe for the supernatural revelation just like they did in the Bible.

God’s heart is for you to experience both. Have faith for the supernatural revelation. Press into God for it. At the same time, know who you are in Christ; that he stewarded to you the ability to make decisions in the kingdom according to your giftedness and the desires of your heart. Give the Holy Spirit space to communicate his directives and if you don’t hear anything up front, move out according to your desires, listening as you go, knowing who he is, what he has said, and with an ear open for what he is saying.